The equinox is upon us, as is our favorite season.
And somehow life seems to be imitating solar balance.
All the work we've done, all the excitement of the summer, the races, the wedding... is quietly slipping into a wonderfully busy fall.
Not without challenge... but at least the challenge in generally welcome, the product of successes.
Here's to our personal equinox hanging on for more than a day and occurring more than semi-annually.
Cheers.
jbg
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
How to Succeed at Racing
Can summer really be almost over?
What a summer it has been...
From the wedding to triathlons to album/music stuff...
Right now, the focus is on the Chicago Triathlon (this Sunday), our last race of four... the training has been amazing... in spite of a couple minor injuries (and in Andrea's case, one larger freak injury, which she has overcome like a champ) we have been training largely healthy since March... six full months of early Sunday mornings, 800 milligrams of ibuprofen, aching muscles, tired brains, jackassery on the lakefront...
And now, a chance to do our first "second race." Cannot wait. The weather looks clear... a bit warm but otherwise okay. The lake water temperature has been wonderful this year, and need only hold on for two more days...
With support from Andrea, I'm already eyeing the Madison Ironman race next September... which is crazy but... why not? If you told me in summer of '06 that I could run a marathon (or even a half-marathon) I would have laughed. I had never run more than 4 miles. Since then, I've done several half-marathons and two full marathons, not to mention numerous 10k races. If you had told me in the winter of 2008, when we started swimming at our gym, that I would get to the point where I could swim a mile in Lake Michigan on a day when there was a "small craft advisory" I would have laughed. I could barely swim two laps in a pool without stopping.
And the two most important steps for success in ANYTHING are: 1. Start. 2. Don't stop.
And I've started. And I haven't stopped yet. Which must mean I'm succeeding...
One lake training swim
One brutal mid-day 10k
One weekend brick
One achy morning
One blister
One sunburn
At a time.
jbg
Right now, the focus is on the Chicago Triathlon (this Sunday), our last race of four... the training has been amazing... in spite of a couple minor injuries (and in Andrea's case, one larger freak injury, which she has overcome like a champ) we have been training largely healthy since March... six full months of early Sunday mornings, 800 milligrams of ibuprofen, aching muscles, tired brains, jackassery on the lakefront...
And now, a chance to do our first "second race." Cannot wait. The weather looks clear... a bit warm but otherwise okay. The lake water temperature has been wonderful this year, and need only hold on for two more days...
With support from Andrea, I'm already eyeing the Madison Ironman race next September... which is crazy but... why not? If you told me in summer of '06 that I could run a marathon (or even a half-marathon) I would have laughed. I had never run more than 4 miles. Since then, I've done several half-marathons and two full marathons, not to mention numerous 10k races. If you had told me in the winter of 2008, when we started swimming at our gym, that I would get to the point where I could swim a mile in Lake Michigan on a day when there was a "small craft advisory" I would have laughed. I could barely swim two laps in a pool without stopping.
And the two most important steps for success in ANYTHING are: 1. Start. 2. Don't stop.
And I've started. And I haven't stopped yet. Which must mean I'm succeeding...
One lake training swim
One brutal mid-day 10k
One weekend brick
One achy morning
One blister
One sunburn
At a time.
jbg
Monday, August 09, 2010
Songs for You
CHICAGO
Everything must start at the end
So I'll write you here to Chicago
Every note your heart will mend
As I write you here to Chicago
This is for you
The things you couldn't say
When times were blue
Your "Bleeding into gray"
'Cause you deserve one too
Until the day you came
Here
To Chicago
To stay
Here
In Chicago
Stay
Here
In Chicago
Stay
Here
With me
MAYBE Maybe you hurt me 'cause you knew from the start Knew we were meant to be apart Maybe we should have just stayed away And moved on Maybe we tried cause we had nowhere else to go And love was just a one-chance show Thought that the rings upon our fingers Would fix us up Now I can smile at the thought of the miles We put between us Driving the roads, running on hope That we'd change Closing our eyes As we kiss our goodbyes Until next time And next time And finally you're here Where I am Maybe there was something in those summer nights In small-town dust and football lights But maybe it wasn't enough To see us through Maybe we watched it all slip away In each and every passing day And maybe looking back, all along, I knew too Now I can cry at the thought of the miles I put between us Chasing a dream, just out of reach It would stay Closing our eyes As we kiss our goodbye There's no next time No next time And finally you're gone And I'm here I'm here
FOR THE BEST How could you go And move on so fast? And walk through the door? And bury the past? I guess it's for the best I'm reaching out Not sure what I want But I know what I don't And I guess that's enough Maybe it's for the best It's the sound of making do It's the sound of life without you It's the sound of the choices we make And the promises we break And on up the coast To your beautiful life In house with a yard Two kids and a wife Maybe it's for the best It's the sound of growing up It's the sound of moving on from love It's the sound of losing the light Not willing to fight
BRIANNE Brianne... Do you know what you meant? I still have the box you made I still keep the games we played Locked up in here Brianne... Do you know what you were? The child I never bore My chance to be something more To someone in need I can still Hear your voice On Christmas morn Brianne... I'm so sorry my dear I didn't do enough I didn't see all the stuff A mother should have seen Brianne... I'm so happy you're clear Of that disaster zone And that you're not alone Maybe I'll meet him someday I can still Hear your voice I can still See your eyes When I said Goodbye Brianne...
GRAY Not again I felt this way before Then no words come out Choking on the quiet doubt Of all we planned I remember when I thought I knew the score Then it all changed again I was left with no defense A broken glass Looking back What if you came? What if I stayed? What if we let the days Fade away into gray? So much for something new This boat is sinking fast Try to patch the hole with work Try to save a soul from hurt Try to rescue light from dark Try to fix a broken heart Try to find a better way Try and try and try and Fail again I remember when What if you came? What if I stayed? What if we let the days Fade away into gray? Fade away into gray I'm fading, anyway
ERASE Gonna give my dog away Gonna move down by the bay Gonna sink into the city And be erased Gonna make a lot of bills Gonna do a lot of pills Gonna watch my blood run into the water Like an oil spill Hey look at all my friends! Hey look it's all pretend! I like this plastic life It's easier than love And lord knows... I'm done with love Gonna give to you my body Gonna give you what's left of my heart Gonna pray that you don't run away And leave me in the dark You can use me like you want 'Cause I can't feel a thing You can bruise me and abuse me And I still won't feel the sting Hey look at all my friends! Hey look it's all pretend! I like this plastic life It's easier than love And lord knows... I'm done with love Lord knows... I'll never really love again
NO, NO, NO You left me with a note No one should have to hold You left me with nowhere to go You left me with no, no, no A long time ago I wanted out of this hole But you told me no, no, no You sold me "no, don't go" "No, don't go" Years down the road When my love wants to know If I was over you I'll tell him "yes, yes, yes" I'll sell him "yes, yes, yes" I'll yell out "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes"
PAPER AND BONE Checking off days On the calendar page It's been a year Gone from the place I couldn't stay And now I'm out of here I had to cry And come all these miles Only to leave What's another goodbye As hard as I've tried Well I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything Out on the road Just embers and smoke Into the sun Nothing to show But echoes and ghosts From which to run Now that I know I'm just paper and bone And nothing more How can I hope To not be alone When I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything
BECAUSE OF YOU It's winter on the Plains And there's ice in the veins But in this country's heart I found a start I found a spark Because of you Days become weeks and months And soon spring will come The wind doesn't cut the skin 'Cause I'm letting light in I'm ready to win Because of you I'm ready for it all To finally come true I'm ready now to fall Into Chicago And stay Here In Chicago And stay Because Of you
BELIEVE That night When you came to me I watched you dress and leave At first light Breaking over the streets Wrapped in the sheets With you The thread That drew us to here Through heartache and fear And blues You said "I'm not going away I promise to stay For the rest of our days With you" In my dreams I can see us growing old When I breathe Your fire's taking hold When I cry I feel your fingers digging in In the sky We're washed of all our sins Your melodies, your melodies You sing my heart to sleep And when the morning light comes creeping in The healing is complete I'm yours, I'm yours Promise you won't leave I'm yours, I'm yours I believe, I believe In you I believe in me I believe it's true I believe...
jbg
MAYBE Maybe you hurt me 'cause you knew from the start Knew we were meant to be apart Maybe we should have just stayed away And moved on Maybe we tried cause we had nowhere else to go And love was just a one-chance show Thought that the rings upon our fingers Would fix us up Now I can smile at the thought of the miles We put between us Driving the roads, running on hope That we'd change Closing our eyes As we kiss our goodbyes Until next time And next time And finally you're here Where I am Maybe there was something in those summer nights In small-town dust and football lights But maybe it wasn't enough To see us through Maybe we watched it all slip away In each and every passing day And maybe looking back, all along, I knew too Now I can cry at the thought of the miles I put between us Chasing a dream, just out of reach It would stay Closing our eyes As we kiss our goodbye There's no next time No next time And finally you're gone And I'm here I'm here
FOR THE BEST How could you go And move on so fast? And walk through the door? And bury the past? I guess it's for the best I'm reaching out Not sure what I want But I know what I don't And I guess that's enough Maybe it's for the best It's the sound of making do It's the sound of life without you It's the sound of the choices we make And the promises we break And on up the coast To your beautiful life In house with a yard Two kids and a wife Maybe it's for the best It's the sound of growing up It's the sound of moving on from love It's the sound of losing the light Not willing to fight
BRIANNE Brianne... Do you know what you meant? I still have the box you made I still keep the games we played Locked up in here Brianne... Do you know what you were? The child I never bore My chance to be something more To someone in need I can still Hear your voice On Christmas morn Brianne... I'm so sorry my dear I didn't do enough I didn't see all the stuff A mother should have seen Brianne... I'm so happy you're clear Of that disaster zone And that you're not alone Maybe I'll meet him someday I can still Hear your voice I can still See your eyes When I said Goodbye Brianne...
GRAY Not again I felt this way before Then no words come out Choking on the quiet doubt Of all we planned I remember when I thought I knew the score Then it all changed again I was left with no defense A broken glass Looking back What if you came? What if I stayed? What if we let the days Fade away into gray? So much for something new This boat is sinking fast Try to patch the hole with work Try to save a soul from hurt Try to rescue light from dark Try to fix a broken heart Try to find a better way Try and try and try and Fail again I remember when What if you came? What if I stayed? What if we let the days Fade away into gray? Fade away into gray I'm fading, anyway
ERASE Gonna give my dog away Gonna move down by the bay Gonna sink into the city And be erased Gonna make a lot of bills Gonna do a lot of pills Gonna watch my blood run into the water Like an oil spill Hey look at all my friends! Hey look it's all pretend! I like this plastic life It's easier than love And lord knows... I'm done with love Gonna give to you my body Gonna give you what's left of my heart Gonna pray that you don't run away And leave me in the dark You can use me like you want 'Cause I can't feel a thing You can bruise me and abuse me And I still won't feel the sting Hey look at all my friends! Hey look it's all pretend! I like this plastic life It's easier than love And lord knows... I'm done with love Lord knows... I'll never really love again
NO, NO, NO You left me with a note No one should have to hold You left me with nowhere to go You left me with no, no, no A long time ago I wanted out of this hole But you told me no, no, no You sold me "no, don't go" "No, don't go" Years down the road When my love wants to know If I was over you I'll tell him "yes, yes, yes" I'll sell him "yes, yes, yes" I'll yell out "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes"
PAPER AND BONE Checking off days On the calendar page It's been a year Gone from the place I couldn't stay And now I'm out of here I had to cry And come all these miles Only to leave What's another goodbye As hard as I've tried Well I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything Out on the road Just embers and smoke Into the sun Nothing to show But echoes and ghosts From which to run Now that I know I'm just paper and bone And nothing more How can I hope To not be alone When I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything I don't believe in love I don't believe in anything
BECAUSE OF YOU It's winter on the Plains And there's ice in the veins But in this country's heart I found a start I found a spark Because of you Days become weeks and months And soon spring will come The wind doesn't cut the skin 'Cause I'm letting light in I'm ready to win Because of you I'm ready for it all To finally come true I'm ready now to fall Into Chicago And stay Here In Chicago And stay Because Of you
BELIEVE That night When you came to me I watched you dress and leave At first light Breaking over the streets Wrapped in the sheets With you The thread That drew us to here Through heartache and fear And blues You said "I'm not going away I promise to stay For the rest of our days With you" In my dreams I can see us growing old When I breathe Your fire's taking hold When I cry I feel your fingers digging in In the sky We're washed of all our sins Your melodies, your melodies You sing my heart to sleep And when the morning light comes creeping in The healing is complete I'm yours, I'm yours Promise you won't leave I'm yours, I'm yours I believe, I believe In you I believe in me I believe it's true I believe...
jbg
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thus Far
I've been digging deep lately...
My first summer as a musician and a musician only has been thrilling for reasons personal, professional and creative.
The personal part is easy: I got married. To my soulmate and perfect partner. Surrounded by family and friends. And the event surpassed even our lofty expectations.
We've also crushed an entire season of triathlon training, with our third of four races at the end of July and one more in August... and they've gone well enough that I'm seriously entertaining signing up and training for the Ironman in Madison next year... as insane as that is.
The professional part is coming along as I juggle a full and Protean teaching schedule with Paper Arrows, Quell Records, The Odyssey, and more.
The creative part? In just a few short weeks Paper Arrows will take over I.V. Lab Studios for three full days to record our third album. We're going to approach this record a little differently than the first two in that we're all going to get in a room together and track as a live band. And then piece together the overdubs with the live tracks as the core.
The first two records were built separately around acoustic recordings I made. Which was great and a testament to Jay as a producer and all of us as musicians. But this new record... has to have a different feel. It needs to be a band in a room playing songs. Jay speaks of these new tunes as glowingly as I've heard him speak of any of our projects... and I can't wait to work face to face with him and Darren and Drew.
It will be intense and a bit of a high wire act, but I'm confident it will be exactly what it needs to be. I'm tentatively calling this record "In the Morning." It's hopeful and intimate. Energetic and tender. Simple but sophisticated.
It's the P to the S of Look Alive and the M of Things We Would Rather Lose (and no, that's not an S&M comment like that, you perv.) It's the Return of the Jedi to the...
You get the idea. I've also managed to write nearly an entire album of songs on the piano, 80% of it in one week, where I was cranking out 2 songs a day, an unheard of pace for me... writing on the piano has been fascinating and amazing... and I know that even if the songs never see the light of day, spending some time and energy creating on the piano has made me a much better writer.
Also, this group of songs is one of my first shots in a while (since the Odyssey?) at writing mostly non-autobiographically... the songs tell someone else's story. Which needs to be told.
So... as I struggle to write the last song of this cycle... I'm not sure what I want to do with all of them. I believe the answer will present itself in due time. It always does, in some form.
It's how I've gotten this far. And this far is pretty damn good and getting better...
XO
jbg
The personal part is easy: I got married. To my soulmate and perfect partner. Surrounded by family and friends. And the event surpassed even our lofty expectations.
We've also crushed an entire season of triathlon training, with our third of four races at the end of July and one more in August... and they've gone well enough that I'm seriously entertaining signing up and training for the Ironman in Madison next year... as insane as that is.
The professional part is coming along as I juggle a full and Protean teaching schedule with Paper Arrows, Quell Records, The Odyssey, and more.
The creative part? In just a few short weeks Paper Arrows will take over I.V. Lab Studios for three full days to record our third album. We're going to approach this record a little differently than the first two in that we're all going to get in a room together and track as a live band. And then piece together the overdubs with the live tracks as the core.
The first two records were built separately around acoustic recordings I made. Which was great and a testament to Jay as a producer and all of us as musicians. But this new record... has to have a different feel. It needs to be a band in a room playing songs. Jay speaks of these new tunes as glowingly as I've heard him speak of any of our projects... and I can't wait to work face to face with him and Darren and Drew.
It will be intense and a bit of a high wire act, but I'm confident it will be exactly what it needs to be. I'm tentatively calling this record "In the Morning." It's hopeful and intimate. Energetic and tender. Simple but sophisticated.
It's the P to the S of Look Alive and the M of Things We Would Rather Lose (and no, that's not an S&M comment like that, you perv.) It's the Return of the Jedi to the...
You get the idea. I've also managed to write nearly an entire album of songs on the piano, 80% of it in one week, where I was cranking out 2 songs a day, an unheard of pace for me... writing on the piano has been fascinating and amazing... and I know that even if the songs never see the light of day, spending some time and energy creating on the piano has made me a much better writer.
Also, this group of songs is one of my first shots in a while (since the Odyssey?) at writing mostly non-autobiographically... the songs tell someone else's story. Which needs to be told.
So... as I struggle to write the last song of this cycle... I'm not sure what I want to do with all of them. I believe the answer will present itself in due time. It always does, in some form.
It's how I've gotten this far. And this far is pretty damn good and getting better...
XO
jbg
Monday, June 28, 2010
11:12
Things are happening... albums are scheduled to be recorded, races are being run, lovers are getting united...
It's all wonderful. It's all a little unbelievable. Not that we're complaining.
We deserve to win sometimes. Or at least, set personal records. How many things have I done in the last 4 years that I thought I could never do? What is the common presence? Who is the common presence? Is triathloning (I am determined to make this word a verb... why not?) not the perfect metaphor for life? What a cheesy middle school lit class statement.
Not metaphor as much as training... Triathloning is the perfect example of shit happens, figure it out, deal with it, move forward, manage pain, keep moving forward, finish. Do your best. Deal with the factors your can, manage the external circumstances beyond your control, of which there are MANY.
That's the way life is... weird like that.
It pushes you towards people and things... sometimes without reason, sometimes so incredibly, so inexplicably, so tenuously... it's enough to make two perfect pagans believe that there's something out there... something at work... Something that every once in awhile, when you've been beaten down, when you've suffered through pain... when you've done your best, made mistakes, dealt with shit... when you've wished and wished and closed your eyes and wished some more and thought it was all for naught... Suddenly grants you your wishes.
And then... What's next?
What do you do when your wishes are granted?
You close your eyes and wish some more... And dismount from your bike, hustle into transition 2, pull your running shoes on... And shuffle out onto the run course on fatigued legs. With a big smile on your face.
A big smile on your tear-stained, blue-eyed face.
XO
jbg
It's all wonderful. It's all a little unbelievable. Not that we're complaining.
We deserve to win sometimes. Or at least, set personal records. How many things have I done in the last 4 years that I thought I could never do? What is the common presence? Who is the common presence? Is triathloning (I am determined to make this word a verb... why not?) not the perfect metaphor for life? What a cheesy middle school lit class statement.
Not metaphor as much as training... Triathloning is the perfect example of shit happens, figure it out, deal with it, move forward, manage pain, keep moving forward, finish. Do your best. Deal with the factors your can, manage the external circumstances beyond your control, of which there are MANY.
That's the way life is... weird like that.
It pushes you towards people and things... sometimes without reason, sometimes so incredibly, so inexplicably, so tenuously... it's enough to make two perfect pagans believe that there's something out there... something at work... Something that every once in awhile, when you've been beaten down, when you've suffered through pain... when you've done your best, made mistakes, dealt with shit... when you've wished and wished and closed your eyes and wished some more and thought it was all for naught... Suddenly grants you your wishes.
And then... What's next?
What do you do when your wishes are granted?
You close your eyes and wish some more... And dismount from your bike, hustle into transition 2, pull your running shoes on... And shuffle out onto the run course on fatigued legs. With a big smile on your face.
A big smile on your tear-stained, blue-eyed face.
XO
jbg
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