Viva Reno

Last Friday morning, my alarm went off at 5:00 am. Groggy from my 1:00 bedtime, I grumbled and stumbled to the shower for a brief cleansing and then collected my things and headed for the door. You see, I had an 8:00 flight out of O'Hare to the biggest little city in our fair county, AKA Reno, Nevada. 

The occasion? Best friend Ben's 30th B-day and a surprise party on Friday night. Oh. And the Super Bowl or as we came to call it, the Bears' Game. So I braved the A.M. chill and found myself on my way to... Salt Lake City? Damn you (shaking fist), lack of inexpensive direct flights to Reno! After eating a "bagel" as I killed an hour in the Salt Lake City airport while trying to avoid Mormon missionaries, I flew the final hour on to Reno where Ben's sister, Kelley, greeted me at the airport.

The party didn't start until 7:00 and it was noon local time so... we did what you do when you're in Reno and have time to kill: gambled and drank beer. After losing a bit of money (also what you do in Reno) we cleaned up and headed to the party, which was being held at a shooting club near Ben and April's house.

Ben walked in at 7:00 sharp and was shocked by the 40-some guests, and especially by our presence. Much fun was had, much pizza eaten, much beer consumed, and I got to meet and hold Ben and April's twin babies (Austin and Aspen) for the first time. After the party, we went back to the hotel/casino and resumed our video poker marathon... Kelley and I are a deadly pair in that we can both sit at the bar and play video poker and drink "free" beer for hours on end... and Friday night was no exception.

Saturday came and we lurched downstairs to grab breakfast and... drink bloody marys while playing video poker. At this stage, I was down some cash, but not too much. The standard for video poker is that you go up and down and up and down and wind up down but having had a lot of fun and a lot of drinks. Kind of like most of life in general.

After losing more money, we decided to do something healthy, namely hitting the gym/fitness room. Although my workout was a bit weak (owing possibly to the altitude, probably to the video poker marathon and attendant drinking), it felt good to sweat and I augmented my usual physical activity with a trip to the steam room... where a man interrupted my relaxation by practicing Bikram Yoga in the nude.

To quote Dave Barry, I am not making this up.

After cleaning up, we headed out to Ben and April's house to hang out, play with the kids, and go out to a nice dinner. Following dinner we watched ESPN Classic's football marathon about the '85 Bears and then Kelley and I returned to the hotel. I was fading and exhausted, but Kelley convinced me (with little difficulty) to hang around for a little (say it together now) video poker and a beer.

Imagine my surprise when, within 20 minutes of sitting down, I hit a Royal Flush and won... $1000.00.

I am not making this up.

I was stunned. Kelley was stunned. A man appeared out of thin air and counted off $1000.00 in $100 bills into my hand. I was still stunned. We celebrated by ordering shrimp cocktail and a Reuben from room service and bedtime was approximately 3:30 a.m. local time. I woke up and checked my wallet to make sure it wasn't a dream. And it wasn't.

So... we went downstairs and played a little more video poker before getting our act together and heading out towards Ben's for... the Bears' game. On the way, we picked up In-N-Out Burgers and Deschutes Beer. Yes, you should be jealous.

The anticipation for the game was almost un-BEAR-able (ha!) and as Devin Hester returned the opening kick for a touchdown, we veritably exploded with glee. Too bad that was basically the only highlight of the game... with the exception of Prince's sick halftime performance. As the clock wound down, we pouted. We were sullen. We were depressed. We noted that pitchers and catchers report in 10 days.

Kelley and I returned to the hotel and... I'm not even going to write what we did, because you know. Hint: it rhymes with Pideo Voker. I hit the hay having managed to not lose most of my huge jackpot from the previous night.

Again, the wake up call was a ridiculous 5:00 a.m. and the following 11 or so hours until I reached my door in Chicago included a blurry cab ride, a painful 4 hour flight to Atlanta (at least there were no Mormons there), a nearly 2 hour lay-over, a 2 hour flight to Chicago, and a brutally cold trip from O'Hare to home via train and bus. Whew.

I got home to a couple of frantically happy pets and a bed that has rarely felt more comfortable. All in all, quite a weekend full of video poker, beer, football, more video poker, bearing witness to random acts of naked Bikram Yoga, holding adorable babies, still more video poker, football, petting pugs, and, last but not least, still more video poker.

Also, people whom I love dearly and with all my heart and cannot possibly thank enough for the trip, the party, the laughs, the tears, and the fun.

And I am, most surely of all, not making that up.

jbg