Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Do's and Don't's: Riding the CTA

Do: bathe
Do: exit using the rear door of the bus
Don't: watch a DVD on your laptop with the sound up
Don't: fall asleep and take up two seats on the train during rush hour
Don't: stand in front of the train doors and stare at the subway map while the train is stopped at a station
Do: know how much money is on your farecard before trying to go through the turnstyle
Don't: sit down next me with a giant backpack and a drug addled disposition, ask me what I'm reading, upon learning that it is "A Thousand Splendid Suns" remark that you read "Kite Runner" and are a "traditional American Conservative," and then instantaneously pass out with your head lolling dangerously close to my shoulder
Don't: Apologize for the delay. Your operator is off the train addressing the problem. We are sorry for the inconvenience and will be moving shortly (repeat every 30 seconds for the next 20 minutes)
Do: sigh


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